For themselves and the people close to them, perceiving daily life events as far more dangerous than they actually are, being excessively anxious and cautious in a way disproportionate to these events, experiencing physiological and emotional tension and hypervigilance, constantly thinking about potential dangers that might come from the environment, and making continuous efforts to control situations even when the actual risk is low and the possibility of harm is no greater than what everyone may experience—these are the fundamental characteristics of anxious personalities. The “alarm systems” of anxious individuals operate almost twenty-four hours a day, which causes them to constantly feel distressed and on edge. Although anxious individuals say they want to feel relaxed, they also maintain this personality structure. In reality, the root of anxiety is fear, and anxiety protects the psyche against fear. In other words, anxiety is a defense mechanism against inner fear.
To let go of anxiety actually means to let go of control. For anxious personalities, letting go of anxiety means letting go of control—and losing control. The state of vigilance that anxiety creates is perceived as protection against all dangers that may come from the environment.
Letting go of control means being exposed to all possible threats and attacks from the outside. Therefore, anxious personality structures oscillate between the desire to relax and the desire to remain vigilant. They want to escape the exhaustion created by constant alertness, yet being alert is also something that protects them from perceived danger.
Thus, it is not wrong to formulate it this way:
Fear > anxiety > being controlled and vigilant > vigilance > anxiety
In other words, the individual lives in a vicious cycle.
If anxiety turns into a disorder, it generally develops into the diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder. This condition manifests itself through excessive or unrealistic worries, such as palpitations, sweating, hot flashes, frequent urge to urinate, or feeling as if the throat is tightening.
Do you have anxious personality traits? YES / NO
- Thinking about distressing events often keeps me from falling asleep.
- If someone I am expecting is late, I think something bad must have happened.
- I experience palpitations during sudden or unexpected events.
- Sometimes I feel tense without knowing the reason.
- At times I feel the need to take a sedative during the day.
- I always fulfill my responsibilities on time.
- I notice that I worry too much about unforeseen events.
The structure of anxious personalities is generally a reflection of their mothers’ anxious tendencies. When we look at the mothers of some anxious individuals, we see that they have a strong inclination toward worrying. They constantly think about dangers and risks that may affect themselves or their loved ones. In every uncertain situation, they imagine the worst-case scenarios.
However, anxiety is a natural form of arousal. When a situation contains some degree of danger, we experience a certain level of anxiety—whether taking an exam, speaking in front of a crowd, or running late to an appointment. Since anxiety is not a pleasant feeling, the individual tries to avoid danger by anticipating risks or monitoring situations. In this sense, anxiety serves as a warning signal to prevent danger and better control circumstances, but on the other hand, it can also act as a brake.
Normally, anxiety is a necessary part of our existence.
Excessive anxiety, however, can become the absence of our existence.
