Relationships are processes in which a person constantly rediscovers themselves. If we combine the logical theory developed in Ancient Greece with Hegel's adaptation, relationships can be defined as the encounter of “the self” with “the other,” and from this point, the concept of “we” is derived.
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A person, in the place they grew up, creates meanings about both men and women, just like all definitions. The general process of how the "self" is created through observing, modeling, and imitating parents forms the foundation. Over time, as the environment brings new meanings, it presents the "other" to us. What we call a relationship is actually the process of recreating our meanings.
The concept of relationship built on the foundation of "we" is, in fact, the process through which each partner rediscovers and recognizes themselves. During the process of getting to know and exploring their partner, the individual is actually reconstructing themselves.
The process through which each partner re-constructs themselves brings about the concept of "we." However, the way “the self” relates to “the other” also makes this a potential conflict process. Recognizing “the other” inevitably leads to discovery and conflict processes between “the self” and “the other.” The conflicts, deadlocks, or problems that couples normally experience in the process of becoming “we” can be constructively solved through couple therapy.
Couple therapy aims to resolve the recurring, unsolved, or other problematic issues faced by individuals in relationships.
Choosing a Therapist for Couple Therapy
The new lifestyle that begins to shape through the concept of “we” in relationships inevitably brings conflicts due to various factors between partners. Harmony, which forms the foundation of relationships and ensures their continuity, is not always a stable condition. Problems with compatibility between couples or insufficient levels of compatibility are among the most common problems where couple therapy is applied. Additionally, factors such as physical discomfort, social and economic difficulties, negative situations arising due to third parties or external elements can cause deadlocks or issues in the functioning of relationships. This situation points to the natural course of development in partnerships, and as a natural outcome of this, individuals require objective and constructive guidance.
The therapist who will apply couple therapy must have competency in their field, possess relevant education and certifications, show adherence to ethical principles, and demonstrate sufficient qualifications. Based on all these factors, the training received, competencies, and qualifications provide important indicators for the therapist to apply the most appropriate methods.
What is the Role of the Therapist in Couple Therapy?
Couple therapy applications are highly dependent on the therapist for achieving impact and success. If we consider this in simple terms, when choosing a hairdresser in daily life, many factors and criteria come to mind. The criteria we create when choosing a hairdresser must, of course, be applied in much more detail for a therapist who will provide counseling for our mental deadlocks and emotional world.
Therapies are conducted through objective applications but developed with healthy communication. In this sense, the healthy communication between the therapist and the client is an essential factor affecting the success of the therapy.
What Should Be Considered When Choosing a Couple Therapist?
When choosing a couple therapist, the following points should be considered:
- Couple therapy primarily aims for individuals to recognize themselves and for partners to understand each other’s meaning worlds. At this point, it is crucial that the couple therapist guides the individual correctly in their self-discovery.
- Couple therapy is a process of differentiating meaning worlds. Under the planned and technical guidance of the couple therapist, the individual first reconstructs their own meanings and then creates new meanings about their relationships. The objective and technical guidance provided by the couple therapist creates a new perspective and meaning world for situations that seem unsolvable.
- The couple therapist should help the individual acquire problem-solving skills. In fact, every individual has the ability to solve problems, but difficulties arise when applying this ability to the situations they are in. With the objective perspective of the therapist, problems can be assessed from different angles. In this regard, the therapist’s objective and technical qualifications should instill trust in the individual or individuals.
- The competence, qualifications, education, and experience of the couple therapist are crucial. However, in addition to all these factors, the therapist’s ability to establish healthy communication with the client(s), assess the suitability of applied methods for the individual, and ensure the success of the therapy is another important aspect.
